Anytime anxiety happens, anytime you are worried, anytime you're thinking about the future. Anytime you're not feeling in the present, you're concerned about something. Oftentimes, let's say for some people who are afraid of flying, they're terrified, they don't want to get on the airplane because they're so anxious what's going to happen. Here's one technique or one tool that you can do for yourself to alleviate that anxiety. Think about the destination, think about where you're going, what you're going to do there.
Think of a great restaurant or a great meal you're going to have once you arrive, or let's say you're going to a movie theater or doing something special for yourself. Instead of concentrating on the fact that you have to be on a plane you have to fly. Think about the end result. What is it? What is something that you can look forward to in the future right after the terrifying event? What is something amazing that you can concentrate on that you can think about? And...
I think one of the things that I noticed a lot is obsession over past hurts. That's what keeps people stuck most of the time. So how do we get rid of it? How do we go past it?
What happens many times is we are stuck in the past. But for our brain it doesn't matter if something happened in the past, present, or future, same parts of our brain light up when we experience something. So for a brain doesn't matter whether it's happened yesterday or right now, you get to relive the same kind of emotions, the same kind of feelings as if they're happening now. So how do you release your obsession over past hurts?
Well, number one is acknowledging that it happened. Having the acceptance, acceptance is the first thing you need to look at. That's what's happening. Accept the situation, accept what has happened, and realize that you don't have to be in that state anymore. You don't have to be stuck, because the only person is that keeping you stuck right now is you. So accept the fact...
“Because [marriage is] a relationship between two people and there's always two sides of the story and you come from different backgrounds, yes, we have to make compromises but sometimes there are some compromises we cannot make because they go against our beliefs. And if we diminish that, if we stay quiet, then a year later we realize we're not gonna recognize who we are anymore.” - Irina Shehovsov
Beliefs is where it all begins. What are the beliefs that we tell ourselves? What are the stories?
Belief is a state of mind, or a habit in which we trust or confidence we place in something personal. Where do they come from? Between ages zero and seven, we have them installed, they are given by our caregivers, educators, and society, by people in our life, who surround us. We take everything as is because we don't have any critical faculty to decide whether something is good or bad. And the next seven years of our life between 7 and 14 we get to live out...
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