There is life after divorce

My name is Irina Shehovsov. I'm not a psychiatrist or a doctor; just a girl who went through betrayal, separation and divorce after 9 years of marriage. Three days before my son was born "I died" inside; I found out about my husband's betrayal. My heart was cut open. I knew that my life would never be the same, at that moment I rubbed my belly and said no matter what happens I will always love my son.

I went through days without meaning, suffering emotional and physical pain often thinking of ending my life, so the misery would stop. The joint sessions with psychiatrist were a waste of time. I would leave crying after each one. I did not know what to do next, suddenly I became a single mother of a newborn and 5 years old.

I knew that I had to be strong for my kids, but this was coming from a purely mechanical sense. This must happen no matter what. I felt dead inside. Each day dropping kids off at two separate schools, I would run to catch the train to work. Bawling my eyes out and asking myself why I'm doing this. At work, I would plaster on a smile and go through each day. I was a “soldier who went to war that never ends”. When you are a parent, there are no vacation or sick days, you’re always on 100% of the time. When you’re a single parent, even more so.

In 9 years of marriage I managed to lose my identity, my ideas, my likes, my dreams... until one day I realized there is no one to take care of me anymore. I must take care of myself; and, so the road to recovery began with me walking each morning, welcoming the day, clearing my mind. It was tough waking up before the sun and kids were up, but I felt better after the walk. Walking made me happy.

Over the course of last 6 years I have rebuilt myself little by little. Taking care of each category of my life. Remembering who I was before I was a wife and a mother.

I am here to offer advice from personal experience. I have been lost and did not have a guide to lead me as a result my recovery took many years. I want to be the person I needed back then to those who need me now. The intention of this website is to help those who feel broken and lost in life to find their way once again, so that they can lead a fulfilling life, to feel the beat of adventure, dream big and grow strong.