Anytime anxiety happens, anytime you are worried, anytime you're thinking about the future. Anytime you're not feeling in the present, you're concerned about something. Oftentimes, let's say for some people who are afraid of flying, they're terrified, they don't want to get on the airplane because they're so anxious what's going to happen. Here's one technique or one tool that you can do for yourself to alleviate that anxiety. Think about the destination, think about where you're going, what you're going to do there.
Think of a great restaurant or a great meal you're going to have once you arrive, or let's say you're going to a movie theater or doing something special for yourself. Instead of concentrating on the fact that you have to be on a plane you have to fly. Think about the end result. What is it? What is something that you can look forward to in the future right after the terrifying event? What is something amazing that you can concentrate on that you can think about? And think about that, think about feelings, you're going to feel, things you're going to hear, how you're going to feel and get yourself there instead of concentrating on the immediate event of anxiety.
That's one thing and that another way of dealing with anxiety is listening to music or surrounding yourself with something positive. Safe environments, positive things that can relieve you of that immediate anxiety state. Let's say you have an important meeting and did you know that for your body it doesn't matter. You can trick your body. Actually when you feel anxious when you feel like OMG what's going to happen? Instead of telling your body I'm afraid, tell your body I'm excited. I'm excited to get on this plane. I'm excited to get to this meeting. I'm excited to get this deal and trick your mind because you get similar bodily functions and emotions that come up. Whether you're feeling anxious, whether you're feeling afraid, or whether you're feeling excited for something if you were to notice, you might find the same bodily reactions like perspiration or butterflies in your stomach. So you can trick your mind to say that you're excited instead of you're afraid. You can do that.
Another important thing I want to point out that you only have the present moment and getting yourself anxious over something that is not yet here puts you out of that present moment. The way we are designed, we're always programmed for the worst case scenario. We always think about that, what is the worst thing that can possibly happen and we concentrate on that. And oftentimes we get agitated over something that not even going to occur. Ask yourself this, how many times were you agitated about something that in the end didn't even come through? How many times this has happened in your life? Think about that. So I suggest or offer you this kind of reframe that you can think about. Think of what's the best that can happen. Wake up every morning and expect something amazing is about to happen. When you concentrate your mind on something that's important for you, you're going to get more of those events, things, people, experiences in your life.
What you concentrate your attention on expands. We have a subconscious and conscious mind and our conscious mind is a goal setter. When someone is talking they're in their conscious mind. You're awake, you set a goal, you set something that you want to occur in the future. And then with our subconscious mind, subconscious mind is the goal getter. Subconscious Mind is going to do it's magic for you. It will send you experiences, people and events, situations in your life, to get you to your goal.
There are several systems that are in place that are working, one of them is reticular activating system. Have you ever gone to a dealership when you were looking for a brand new car, and you were looking for a certain type of car, maybe it's called the Tesla or a Ford. And it was a certain year, certain model, certain make, the certain mileage and certain efficiency in the color the interior, the exterior, the whole thing. You imagine that how you want it to be, you go to the dealership, you sit down, you talk to the agent, you test drive the car, and then you say, I'm going to think about it. You leave the dealership, and then everywhere you go, you start noticing that similar car, let's say you wanted a dark and black Mercedes. Now everywhere you go, you see this car and start asking yourself what's going on? Why? Why do I see this car everywhere, all of a sudden? Well, there are no surprises there. Because now, you alerted your mind, you put a spotlight that this is important. And now your mind is going to show you all of those things. And now you're going to notice it because before all those cars were there before. But for you it didn't matter. It didn't matter that they were there, because it wasn't important, because our mind has this unique ability to filter out the noise. Because there is so much information all around us. And we cannot process everything all at once. There is millions bits of information that is around us, but our conscious mind can only take in 126. And this is for a good reason. Because if we didn't have that filter, we would go crazy. We only focus our attention on a very specific thing at a time. Imagine when you're in the woods and you have a flashlight, and you point your flashlight to different directions. And you have that kind of pointed vision. So this is how our mind takes in information. Zooming one bit at a time, only what's relevant, only what's important. Everything else either gets deleted, generalized or distorted. This is how we work which is neither good nor bad. It's just is, and once you know that, with that new information, you can step forward and apply it as it relates to your life.
To recap, to relieve the pangs of anxiety, several things you can do. Concentrate your attention on the end result. What is the end event that happens immediately after following something that makes you anxious? What does that make it? Feel it, experience it as if it is already here and concentrate your attention on the positive outcome. Reframe your mind from always thinking what's the worst case scenario? Change to what is the best case scenario? This takes time, it doesn't happen overnight. But once you make it important, once you start noticing your frame of thought. How you thinking, how you talking to yourself, what experiences you're having, once you notice that. Because the only thing that you can change once you notice a pattern, once you look for specific behavior or trait of character that you want to change and concentrate on that, then you can change.
Another thing that we can do is a technique called anchoring, but this can be done when you work directly with me in 1:1 coaching. This is such a powerful technique that it would be selfish of me not to share it with you. How would you like to have a personal power button? How would you like to feel instant pleasure, instant burst of energy on demand without calling anyone, or doing something crazy? Anytime you don't feel good? Anytime you don't feel good enough, when you feel you don't want to get out of bed in the morning or something? Or like anxiousness like before a meeting? How would you like to learn how to have a special power button right on you at all times? You see your body is an incredible, beautiful machine of limitless potential. Just like a computer allows you to store files and documents. Similarly, our body can be used to store information. The language of the body is emotions. Emotions are like files, and you could have different kinds of emotions, some positive, some negative. So those emotions can be stored in certain places of your body. We record our emotions, just like there are electronic files, like a YouTube video or an audio that you listen to, you can record your emotions in the same way and have it accessible as a button on your body wherever you choose. You get to the amazing state of being, amazing event, that is powerful, energizing and confident and so on. And once you are in that state, we get to record it on your body. And we get to record it as many times as necessary until it becomes a button on demand.
Anytime you feel like life is not working or something, when you feel not good enough, you can press your anchor, press your button, and you instantly feel energy, instant rush of emotions, you feel confident, you feel amazing, you feel energetic. How would you like to learn how to do that? This happens in my one on one coaching sessions.
Another thing to mention is the importance of emotional release. Especially after breakup, separation or divorce, you might have feelings of grief, feelings of loss feelings of not good enough, feeling like a victim, like life is happening to me, I am being hurt. It's important to release those emotions, it's important not to hold on for them too long. Because if you're holding on to those emotions, in the long term, they can manifest as a disease.
Alternatively you can develop a temperament if you get tied to your emotions for a very long time. You become the thing that you know that she has or he has that frame of reference and those emotions that you carry with you everywhere you go. You cannot run away from your emotions. For many times after separation, I wanted to leave my home. I didn't want to be anywhere near my home. But what I didn't realize that everywhere I went, I took myself with me. So it doesn't matter how far you run, you still have your emotions, you still have you. Even if you leave the country or go across the border, and you still take yourself with all of your emotions with all of your breakdowns. That is everything that you have, you always take yourself with you.
So it's important to institute practices for safe therapeutic release of your emotions on a continuous basis, every single day, you need to do something that brings you joy, something that fulfills you. And a glass of wine sounds good. But you cannot drown your sorrows in the glass of wine, it only lasts you one day, one evening, and the next morning, you wake up and you still have the same emotions, same feelings, everything is still there, it didn't go anywhere. It always stays with you. So it's important to institute 10 minutes of joy into your day. Whether it's a walk, whether it's you doing something that makes you happy, singing, baking, cooking, etc. whatever makes you happy, whatever puts your soul on fire, and do that for yourself. Be your own cheerleader. You know, sing, dance, exercise, whatever makes you happy. And concentrate on what's the best that can happen instead of what's the worst that can happen. See how it goes for you, see what happens when you do that.
In summary, the three solutions to curb the pangs of anxiety are:
1) Concentrate on what happens immediately after that anxious event is over what happens next. Set your intention, set your attention on that and really, write it out, think about it. Say to yourself, what is it that you're looking forward to once this anxious event is over instead of concentrating on the event? Think of what happens immediately after that. That's fun.
2) Positive anchoring. Unique place on your body where you can record your emotions. Just like electronic files, you can record your emotions on your body. This is an amazing tool as well that I work with in my 1:1 clients to install that in addition to many other beautiful things that we do.
3) Release your emotions Find a habit, find something that makes brings you happiness and joy, and do that every single day. For however little is however much time you have but it's important to feed your soul. First, it's important to fill yourself first first before you can be a better person a better human, a better mom or employee or daughter to others. Fill your cup first. Make sure you do that for yourself. No matter what, this should be your non-negotiable. Do that number one thing every day. Get that done. Shift your mindset to positive state. You know feeling hearing, flood your senses and stay away from negatives.
Remember that you are limitless. The only person standing in the way of your success is you. You can overcome it. Anything is possible as long as you believe.