First off, why would you want to change your beliefs? Oftentimes it takes a tragic event or circumstance for us to pay attention at our life. Stop and think for a second where is it going? If we were to analyze or observe life as series of events we may notice patterns of behavior and beliefs that have led us to where we are today. It takes recognition that however you are living your life up to this point is no longer working. It does not suit you anymore. It may look great on paper, great career, complete family, financial stability...but deep inside something does not feel right. The things you thought you wanted you now have, yet there is something missing.
Once you acknowledge what has happened, now you can change. Here are three things you can do to change your beliefs.
1) Surround yourself with people who see the best in you
Do you allow toxic people in your life? Do you allow toxic relationships to take a toll on you? Sometimes, maybe you have a partner or a spouse and you can't just shut them out, but put yourself as an observer of a situation, don't be inside of it, and see how it develops, see how your feelings and emotions. What are they all about?
If you don't have a positive circle of people, then make it a point to find one. Make it a priority for yourself. Because you are the sum of the five people who you surround yourself with. This is who you're going to become in the end. It is all great if you are upbeat and positive but if you circle is negative, you will become negative in the long run. If you have people dragging you down, you will be dragged down, you will give up. So build that positive circle of friends who life you up, who see the better version of you, even if you do not see it yet yourself.
2) Redefine the story of your life
Another thing you can do is write a story of how you want your life to be, what kind of beliefs you have had up to this point in your life, beliefs that weren't serving you. Write it down, make a list. Draw a line down the middle of the paper. On one side, write your negative beliefs that brought you to this point. The other side, write down all the positive beliefs that you can adopt. This is all about self reflection. Because sometimes we just go through life, checking boxes off and doing things for the sake of doing things, we don't evaluate those things. So it's important to reflect, to journal and to have that communication with yourself. Kind of to see ok, this is the belief I have, what is my position about it? How did it came about? Is this my personal belief or did I inherit it from someone else? Did it come from a parent, from an authority figure? Because what happens in life, when we are in school, when we are little kids, we are taught to never question authority, to always comply with what is being given to us. So it becomes difficult sometimes to unravel that puzzle, unravel that box and recognize that the belief that you have is no longer working. And it is time to make a change, and do something about it.
So reflect on your beliefs, wherever they come from, have they been serving you up to this point in your life? Or have they led you to the direction that you are not happy with? Because I have been once living with those negative beliefs. Immediately after my breakup happened. I had a newborn and a five year old and I didn't know how to move forward, I didn't know how to continue. I would drop one kid off at one school and another to another. And I would bawl my eyes out. As I took the train to work, rushing all the time and wondering, asking myself this question: "Is this what life is all about?" Getting from point A to point B without realizing what is going on without being present or happy and just simply fulfilling daily obligations and ticking boxes off. And I realized, not immediately, but at some point, I realized, that I cannot live like that any longer. Because I wanted to be energetic, I wanted to be happy. Because if I'm not happy and I'm not feeling my container first. How am I showing up for other people is not going to be any good. I'm not going to be a good mom, or a good person, a good sister or daughter, or employee, to anyone if I'm not taking care of my needs first. And so I started doing things for myself. Simple things that make me happy, taking care of my body and setting time aside to set an intention for the day.
3) Practice Gratitude
Did you know that Present is a gift? (in reference to Past, Present, Future) Everyday you take is a gift, the fact that you woke up is already a gift. And it is good to be grateful for things that are working in our life, that are beautiful in our life, maybe it is a smile on your child's face, or seeing the sunrise, or simple act of breathing or walking. Many times we only start appreciating things once we loose them. So, be grateful for the things that are going well in your life, even in the midst of despair, even in the midst of anxiety or depression. There are always things that are meaningful that you can appreciate. When you focus your attention on things that are going well in your life, you will have more of those things show up. Keep that in mind.
Remember that you are limitless. Believe in yourself.
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