Anytime anxiety happens, anytime you are worried, anytime you're thinking about the future. Anytime you're not feeling in the present, you're concerned about something. Oftentimes, let's say for some people who are afraid of flying, they're terrified, they don't want to get on the airplane because they're so anxious what's going to happen. Here's one technique or one tool that you can do for yourself to alleviate that anxiety. Think about the destination, think about where you're going, what you're going to do there.
Think of a great restaurant or a great meal you're going to have once you arrive, or let's say you're going to a movie theater or doing something special for yourself. Instead of concentrating on the fact that you have to be on a plane you have to fly. Think about the end result. What is it? What is something that you can look forward to in the future right after the terrifying event? What is something amazing that you can concentrate on that you can think about? And...
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
Take a deep breath while sitting comfortably in your chair, breathe slowly for a few minutes and when you're ready, close your eyes and lower and soften your gaze. Continue to dip slowly and deeply. And I would like for you to imagine that you're standing in your kitchen or the kitchen of someone you know. Choose a kitchen that you're very familiar is this that is associated with pleasurable memories. As you see various different kitchens that just flashed through your mind. Pick one. Imagine you're standing at the doorway of this kitchen and glance around it. Knowing the walls, cabinets, countertops, the floor. Imagine the appliances that are in this kitchen, the refrigerator, the stove, oven dishwasher, look at the countertops noticing things that are placed there. There may be a window, imagine the window is open and the soft warm breeze is blowing in perhaps gently moving the curtains. There are pleasant smells in this kitchen....
I think one of the things that I noticed a lot is obsession over past hurts. That's what keeps people stuck most of the time. So how do we get rid of it? How do we go past it?
What happens many times is we are stuck in the past. But for our brain it doesn't matter if something happened in the past, present, or future, same parts of our brain light up when we experience something. So for a brain doesn't matter whether it's happened yesterday or right now, you get to relive the same kind of emotions, the same kind of feelings as if they're happening now. So how do you release your obsession over past hurts?
Well, number one is acknowledging that it happened. Having the acceptance, acceptance is the first thing you need to look at. That's what's happening. Accept the situation, accept what has happened, and realize that you don't have to be in that state anymore. You don't have to be stuck, because the only person is that keeping you stuck right now is you. So accept the fact...
It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. -Aristotle
What are some of the things you can be doing and what are some things that are not beneficial?
Well, first of and foremost is prioritizing self care. Each day, do something that brings you joy, nurtures you, like exercise, or nutrition or meditate or cook something satisfying. It's important to not drown in your feelings. And it's important to recognize that you cannot drown your sorrows in the glass of wine, for it’s something short lived. We need to establish and practice good behaviors and routines, that are sustainable, and doing those things for yourself. Whether it's baking, cooking, singing, dancing, taking a walk, meditating, but something that will nourish your soul, and your body and your mind.
Sleep is also very important. It's restorative, it helps you cope with pain after breakup. And sometimes it can be the answer, the short answer, but it's establishing your routine, your...
First off, why would you want to change your beliefs? Oftentimes it takes a tragic event or circumstance for us to pay attention at our life. Stop and think for a second where is it going? If we were to analyze or observe life as series of events we may notice patterns of behavior and beliefs that have led us to where we are today. It takes recognition that however you are living your life up to this point is no longer working. It does not suit you anymore. It may look great on paper, great career, complete family, financial stability...but deep inside something does not feel right. The things you thought you wanted you now have, yet there is something missing.
Once you acknowledge what has happened, now you can change. Here are three things you can do to change your beliefs.
1) Surround yourself with people who see the best in you
Do you allow toxic people in your life? Do you allow toxic relationships to take a toll on you? Sometimes, maybe you have a partner or a...
“Because [marriage is] a relationship between two people and there's always two sides of the story and you come from different backgrounds, yes, we have to make compromises but sometimes there are some compromises we cannot make because they go against our beliefs. And if we diminish that, if we stay quiet, then a year later we realize we're not gonna recognize who we are anymore.” - Irina Shehovsov
Beliefs is where it all begins. What are the beliefs that we tell ourselves? What are the stories?
Belief is a state of mind, or a habit in which we trust or confidence we place in something personal. Where do they come from? Between ages zero and seven, we have them installed, they are given by our caregivers, educators, and society, by people in our life, who surround us. We take everything as is because we don't have any critical faculty to decide whether something is good or bad. And the next seven years of our life between 7 and 14 we get to live out...
I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It’s a gift you give yourself. – T.D. Jakes
When it comes to recovering after breakup or divorce, one of the important things one must do is practice forgiveness. It’s necessary to understand that you are not doing this for another person, you are actually doing yourself a favor and giving yourself a gift of freedom and pursuit of happiness. It is not about getting the other person off the hook however they wronged you or however they made you feel it is all actually about you.
And of course, it can be difficult to forgive, especially if you've been married for a long time or have been in a long-term relationship. And you dedicated your life, your attention, your love, all your good qualities to the other person. And you may have put them on a pedestal and have forgotten about yourself. Forgiving them may be very hard and it will take some...
Sometime ago I was listening to Mindvalley podcast with @kwilleumier Dr. Kristen was sharing about her new book Biohack Your Brain. I was already practicing many things mentioned in the book, just got another confirmation about efficacy backed by science.
If you want to improve your brain function then here are the 10 tips for you to do so:
1.Brisk Walk - not only it improves your body but has tremendous benefits for your mind. I like to begin my day with a walk. It wasn't always easy, but once I started, I kept at it, little by little, building a habit. It has been 5 years and now it is something I can't live without. Walking is a great opportunity to habit stack. Listen to your favorite book, a podcast or an upbeat track to get yourself instantly in a great mood. Motion creates emotion. You can change how you feel once you start moving. Walking in nature also promotes ease of mind as you ponder on that tree, or flower or a beach shoreline.
2. Blueberries - eat 1 cup a...
“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” – Mandy Hale
After being in a long term relationship for 5 years or more, you would feel lonely being by yourself. But fear not, that is a normal feeling to have. After all, you thought you had a family, being a good wife and a mom, now faced with uncertainty and pangs of self-worthiness. What you once knew, no longer applies, and you need to develop a new outlook. Often times we look for society, friends and family to dictate the rules we live by. We determine what is considered normal and what is wacky. Growing up, the idea of a family consisted of mom and dad and kids living together under one roof; divorced people were considered defaulted, void, someone who could not love anymore.
But break up changed that. Everywhere I looked there were complete families and there I was all by myself and my kids. The question raised in my...
"The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself."
- Steve Maraboli
I want you to remember to believe in yourself.. It is where it begins and ends. It is difficult to believe in self, because as children we taught to ignore the inner voice and go with what is accepted at the time. Did you know that for every time you hear a NO, and as kids we hear that a lot, you need to say YES 7 times to negate the effect of that 1 negative.
When you hear No, no, no, no you learn that it is not good when you hear that, you get punished, you get your toys taken away. And when you hear a Yes, you get a reward for good behavior, you get trained as if you are a pet you did good by following orders.
For many of us we choose to believe the society, our parents, our friends and coworkers. We are looking for rules created by the society on how to live our life, what to eat, how to dress, how to behave and so on. And we totally ignore our own inner voice. The wisdom is...
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